I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
