she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize