Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
