Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
