there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
