Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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