Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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