Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize
