So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
