TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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