When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
