HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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