She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
