i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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