I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
