that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
