new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
