Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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