Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
