Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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