Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
