i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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