you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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