He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
