Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize