the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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