I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
