the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
