why didn't you poke me back
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize