One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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