Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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