Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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