Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
