She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
