New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
