How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
