I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
