In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
