saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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