why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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