i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
