So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
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we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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