your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
