god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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