i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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