My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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