Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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