We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
