im drinking this country out of the recession.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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