What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
