You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
