Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
