Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
