were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there was a trapeze. enough said
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
