Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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