ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
