I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
