Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
