Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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