Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
