There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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